Chapter 5 - Corrupting the Youth
IN THIS CHAPTER
Corrupting the Youth – How to Target Kids and Own Their Attention
Ah, children—nature’s gullible goldmine. The easiest audience you’ll ever exploit because, let’s be honest, kids are a joke when it comes to critical thinking. They’re entertained by literally anything as long as you’re loud, expressive, and, well, a complete douchebag. The goal here? Forget being a functioning adult. The more unhinged you are, the better. You’re not aiming for respect, you’re aiming for views—by any means necessary.
5.1 Be Over-the-Top: How to Entertain With Absolute Nonsense
Children don’t respond to subtlety, so ditch any semblance of normal human reactions. Instead, blow everything out of proportion. Did someone spill a drink? Don’t just calmly wipe it up—scream like the house is burning down, throw a tantrum, smash a few things for good measure. The louder and more ridiculous you are, the better. You’re not there to model maturity; you’re there to turn every minor inconvenience into a viral meltdown.
Look at people like IShowSpeed, Kai Cenat, or the Paul brothers. These guys have mastered the art of the overreaction. Drop an iPad in the pool, act like you’ve lost everything you own, and smash a cheap lamp while you’re at it. Kids love chaos. They’ll lap up every second of it because, through their naive little eyes, you’re living a life of high-stakes drama—completely missing the fact that you’re just creating meaningless content out of thin air.
It doesn’t matter if you’re setting them up for failure by teaching them that overreacting to everything is normal. Who cares? Their parents can deal with that fallout. Your job is engagement.
5.2 Manufacture Drama: Start Fake Internet Feuds for Fun and Profit
If you really want to keep kids hooked, start a beef with another internet clown. The more immature and pointless, the better. Call out another online star for something completely trivial—maybe they wore the wrong color shoes or ate pizza for breakfast. Accuse them of irresponsible behavior and take the moral high ground. It’s not hard—they’ve probably done a hundred things you can pick apart.
The best part? They’ll call you out in return for your own ridiculous behavior, and you’ve suddenly created an endless loop of drama. After you’ve gotten enough traction from the back-and-forth, plan an “in-person confrontation.” Keep it stupid. A little pushing and yelling is all you need. Stage a fight, but don’t actually do anything substantial—just enough to get the kids gossiping and begging for more. The drama will fuel their need for entertainment, and your follower count will explode.
5.3 Make Mundane Look Magical: Turn Everyday Boredom Into Clickbait
The key to captivating kids is making the boring look like the most exciting thing in the world. Got a new gadget? “Accidentally” drop it in the pool and freak out like you’ve just lost your life savings. Smash cheap furniture over nothing, scream at the camera, or challenge a friend to some ridiculously pointless contest and lose on purpose—anything that makes kids think you’re living on the edge.
Remember, kids are impressed by the simplest stuff because they have no money, little freedom, and even less common sense. Through their eyes, dropping an expensive gadget in the pool or overreacting to a broken chair looks like high drama. You don’t need substance. You just need to look like you’re living the dream—even if the dream is just one big circus act.
Let’s be real: you’re not here to raise well-adjusted kids. You’re here to captivate their attention long enough to make bank. Kids are the easiest targets because they’re too young to know better, and as long as you keep the chaos coming, they’ll keep feeding the machine. Morality? That’s a problem for the parents, not you.