The Haunted Mansion ★★☆☆☆
Disney’s Haunted Mansion (2023) is a lot like attending a Halloween party where the decorations are exquisite but the conversation is dull—fun to look at for a while, but you’ll be checking your watch well before midnight. For a film brimming with talent like LaKeith Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Rosario Dawson, and Owen Wilson, you’d expect more life (or at least more lively ghosts), but the result feels oddly flat, as if the movie itself is haunted by the spirit of missed opportunities.
The plot follows single mom Gabbie (Dawson) and her son, Travis, who move into a New Orleans mansion, only to find it’s infested with cranky specters. Enter a misfit band of supernatural “experts” led by Stanfield’s grief-stricken astrophysicist-turned-ghost-hunter Ben. Together, they must figure out how to rid the house of the ghoulish Hatbox Ghost (Jared Leto). If that sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve seen versions of this story before—just with better jokes and less meandering pacing.
The film teases themes of grief and loss, particularly through Ben’s backstory, but it only dips its toe in those emotional waters before racing back to slapstick humor. You’re left wondering if director Justin Simien wanted to make a serious exploration of mourning or a spooky romp for kids, and the film’s identity crisis is never fully resolved. One moment you’re contemplating the meaning of life, the next you’re watching Danny DeVito waddle around a haunted house in his skivvies.
Visually, Haunted Mansion is occasionally stunning, with the mansion itself offering a delightful blend of spooky and surreal. The hallways that stretch into infinity and rooms that defy physics are a nice nod to the iconic Disney ride. Unfortunately, for every clever visual, there’s a tired CGI gag or a clunky action sequence that falls flat. It’s the cinematic equivalent of assembling IKEA furniture: all the pieces are there, but they don’t quite fit together as smoothly as they should.
The performances range from endearing to wasted. Stanfield brings a quiet sincerity to his role, but even he seems bogged down by the movie’s uneven tone. Haddish and Wilson try to inject some energy, but their jokes often land with a thud, more forced than funny . Meanwhile, Rosario Dawson is criminally underused, relegated to a background role as “worried mom,” while Jamie Lee Curtis (as Madame Leota) is stuck inside a crystal ball, giving us far too little of her usual sparkle.
If you’re a die-hard fan of the Disney attraction, you’ll appreciate the multitude of Easter eggs—rooms that stretch, ghostly hitchhikers, and nods to the Black Widow Bride. But these references do little to elevate a film that can’t decide if it wants to be a heartfelt ghost story or a goofy kids’ caper.
In the end, Haunted Mansion feels like a house with great curb appeal but a creaky foundation. It’s a passable, family-friendly distraction, but it’s hardly the Halloween classic Disney clearly hoped it would be. Maybe next time, they’ll find a director who can actually bring it to life—Guillermo del Toro, we’re looking at you.
