Surviving the Netherlands
This trip to the Netherlands was long overdue, and I have my friend Jin—and a few too many beers—to thank for finally pulling the trigger. After countless invites and a little liquid courage, I booked the trip, albeit in a slightly tipsy haze. In hindsight, I probably should’ve done this sober. But hey, you only live once, right?
I went to the Netherlands half expecting to be greeted by the smell of cannabis in the air and hordes of rowdy British tourists seeking out its more relaxed laws. And, while Amsterdam did deliver on some of those stereotypes, my experience in Zwolle was quite the opposite.
Flying into the Netherlands, the first thing that caught my eye wasn’t the iconic windmills you see in postcards but massive, modern wind turbines dotting the landscape. They’re everywhere. It was a bit jarring—like the countryside was trying to balance between a futuristic dystopia and a tranquil escape. And let me tell you, the Netherlands is flat—like, “you’ll never need a hill-climbing bike gear” flat. This probably explains the Dutch obsession with cycling, which I soon learned is both amazing and mildly chaotic.
The flight from Heathrow to Amsterdam was shockingly short—just about 40 minutes, shorter than my trip to Ireland, which threw me off. I splurged on British Airways business class (because why not), and it was definitely worth the extra legroom on such a brief flight.
However, the real adventure came on the flight back. The day before I was due to fly home, the news hit that a major tech outage was impacting airports worldwide. Apparently, Crowdstrike’s systems, which handle some cybersecurity operations for airlines, had gone down . I was nervous, to say the least. Would my flight even go ahead? Would airports be total chaos? Thankfully, the outage didn’t end up affecting my flight, but that anticipation added a serious layer of stress to my last day.
And then, in true “me” fashion, I had a bit of an alcohol-induced mishap on the plane. After indulging in a few too many tiny bottles of spirits, I had a moment of complete brain fog when it came time to hand them back to the flight attendant. I fumbled, grabbed them all at once, causing an epic bottle cascade. Oh, and spilled a drink in my lap for good measure. Smooth.
Amsterdam was…well, Amsterdam. The highlight was definitely the East Indiaman Amsterdam replica at the National Maritime Museum. It’s a beast of a ship, and walking through it made me seriously rethink my romanticized ideas of life at sea. Tiny, cramped sleeping quarters? No, thank you.
Of course, we also wandered through the Red Light District. I’ll admit, I was expecting more spectacle—neon lights and windows filled with scantily clad women, but in reality, it was pretty tame. Maybe it was because it was daytime, but I saw more sex shops than actual windows with women. Slightly underwhelming, but interesting nonetheless.
In Zwolle, the experience was worlds apart from Amsterdam. My favorite spot was Museum De Fundatie. This quirky museum, housed in a neoclassical building topped with a giant, egg-shaped structure, had one of the most eclectic art collections I’ve seen. From Vincent van Gogh to Piet Mondrian, it felt like a sensory overload in the best way possible. Even if you’re not a hardcore art fan, the building itself is worth a visit just for its bizarre design.
One of the most peaceful moments of my trip was when we rented bikes and cycled through a quiet woodland path along the river to a café. We found this hidden gem (whose name escapes me now) where we had some seriously delicious cheesecake and a few beers before biking back. I didn’t expect to feel so relaxed in the Netherlands, but Zwolle is full of these quiet little moments.
Food-wise, the Netherlands had plenty to offer. I indulged in everything from hearty Italian dinners to a Dutch twist on fish and chips at a local fishmonger. But the real winner for me? Bitterballen. These little deep-fried balls of savory meat paste, typically served with mustard, are the ultimate beer snack. I could’ve eaten them by the dozen.
I’d love to say my accommodation choice was perfectly thought out, but thanks to a tipsy late-night search on Booking.com, I ended up staying in an apartment that was cheaper than the hotels. That should’ve been a red flag. The apartment itself wasn’t bad, but it was incredibly small. The real kicker? The bed was only accessible via a creaky ladder that felt like a safety hazard waiting to happen. I spent each night praying it wouldn’t collapse under my weight—because let’s face it, I didn’t want to end up as the star of some tragic Dutch travel cautionary tale.
If you’re planning to visit the Netherlands, here’s some advice: spend a day in Amsterdam to get the experience, then get out of there. The city’s a tourist trap, albeit a fascinating one. The real charm of the Netherlands lies in quieter places like Zwolle, where you can slow down and enjoy the scenery. Also, embrace the Dutch love for biking. It’s a great way to explore the country, and, honestly, half the fun is weaving your way through the bike-filled streets.
English is widely spoken, but learning a few basic Dutch phrases won’t hurt. And if you’re heading to Zwolle, I’d recommend sticking to hotels unless you have a particular fondness for climbing ladders in your accommodation.
The Netherlands wasn’t exactly what I imagined, and I’m glad for it. Amsterdam had the touristy chaos I expected, but outside of the city, I found a much more relaxed, authentic side of the country that I really enjoyed. I’d definitely go back—though next time, I’ll probably pick a new city to explore. Zwolle was charming, but after a few days, I felt like I’d seen most of what it had to offer. Maybe next time, I’ll try Utrecht or Rotterdam. And next time, I’ll book my stay sober.
Have you been to the Netherlands? Let me know your favorite spots in the comments, or if you have any tips for my next trip!
