Things to do in Denver when you’re dead ★★★☆☆
If Quentin Tarantino had an oddball cousin who loved existential musings, dark humor, and quirky criminals but lacked the snappy dialogue chops, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead might be his calling card. Directed by Gary Fleder, this 1995 crime caper wears its Pulp Fiction-inspired influences so loudly, you half expect the characters to break out into dance at any moment. But instead of smooth criminal coolness, we’re left with a chaotic, quirky underworld where misfit hitmen wax poetic about their own mortality—and sometimes corpses get a few good punches in for fun.
The film revolves around Jimmy "The Saint" Tosnia (played by Andy Garcia), a mobster-turned-videographer for the terminally ill. He’s coerced back into the life by "The Man With The Plan" (a gleefully sinister Christopher Walken, in a wheelchair no less) for one last job. Naturally, things go south faster than you can say "Denver," and Jimmy’s ragtag crew—featuring colorful characters like Critical Bill (Treat Williams), who enjoys beating up corpses, and Pieces (Christopher Lloyd), a leper with a crumbling body—find themselves hunted by the unflappable assassin, Mr. Shhh (Steve Buscemi).
At its best, Denver can be darkly funny, particularly in its absurd character quirks and moments of grim humor. At its worst, it’s trying way too hard to be clever and profound. The film flounders under overwritten dialogue that aims for Tarantino-esque cool but lands closer to awkward theatre audition material. For instance, Jimmy’s romantic musings about women who “glide” while he's busy wooing Dagney (Gabrielle Anwar) feel like they were stolen from the notebook of a teenage poet, rather than a hardened criminal.
Visually, the film embraces a neo-noir style with dim lighting and a seedy underworld ambiance, but it never quite elevates beyond imitation. Fleder’s direction is energetic, but it often feels like it's trying to juggle too many styles at once, resulting in a movie that looks cool on the surface but lacks coherence at its core. There’s an undeniable effort here to be profound, but most of the depth feels tacked on—like someone who read a philosophy book and then tried to discuss it at a cocktail party after one too many drinks.
The cast, however, is its saving grace. Garcia exudes a quiet desperation as a man out of options, while Walken’s eccentric villain and Buscemi’s deadpan hitman almost steal the show. It’s a shame they’re trapped in a film that doesn’t quite know how to make the most of its talent. Treat Williams’ unhinged portrayal of Critical Bill deserves a special mention—his scene where he tenderizes a corpse is as morbidly funny as it is absurd.
Unfortunately, the pacing drags in parts, and the film’s attempts to blend dark comedy, noir, and tragedy often clash rather than mesh. By the time Jimmy and his doomed crew meet their inevitable fates, you’re left feeling less like you’ve witnessed a grand tragedy and more like you’ve watched a string of quirky missteps.
In the end, Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead is an interesting, albeit flawed, film. It’s like watching someone try on Tarantino’s shoes, only to stumble in them. Fans of 90s crime films might appreciate its oddball charms, but if you’re looking for something sleek and smart, best to stick with Pulp Fiction and leave this one as an oddball footnote in the genre.
